Ryden1's blog

you be like, "so? ilovemybabymama. ineverlethergo."

been noticing a new trend with celebrities commercials. that's not so much a new thing, i mean, celebs and advertising go together like ice cream and cake but it's the low level of pretentiousness that's coming with these commercials that i think is new. who doesn't dig those Mac commercials with Justin Long? Michael Jordan, Kevin Bacon, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Joe Montana, Brett Favre all doing undies and jeans commercials and they just act like *who they are*. i like that there's no public persona in those commercials. it's just them. i like the voice over work a lot of really big name actors are doing. Julia Roberts for AOL. Queen Latifah for Pizza Hut. Matt Dillon for Pontiac. Gary Sinise for Cadillac. Christian Slater does commercials and narrates tv shows for Discovery and History channels. Gene Hackman for Lowe's. Keifer Sutherland for Verizon. Julianna Margolis for Pampers. etc. etc. i like that you don't see them and for a lot of those actors, you wouldn't even know it was them unless you were an uber movie freak like me. VO work isn't new to advertising either, but like i said, these stars aren't making a big deal out of it, they aren't The Voice Of... anything. and i dig that.

i watched House of 9 last night on Showtime Beyond, which is my new favorite channel because the flicks they show are odd, indie, and cool. it was a pretty good movie. not a great freaking OMG GO WATCH THAT movie like...uh... some movie i can't think of right now because i'm too busy laughing at the comments thread on IMDB about Nekromantik. but a good movie with pretty damn cool twist ending that i didn't see coming until *right* before it happened. Dennis Hopper's accent was horrible though. *punts him*

my home computer went into a coma this morning. it's vitals are stabilized but the outlook is pretty grim. last week, we agreed to have a 250gb external hard drive put in but it hasn't helped it's ailing health much. poor ol' Compy.

there's something wrong with me for thinking these are hysterically funny.

burn notice

fall guy

these are the things i can

the other night i watched this flick. holy shiz what a weird ass movie. thing is, i totally loved it. if you have showtime, keep an eye out for it cuz i'm sure it will be on again (that is the way of cable). it's subtitled but that doesn't matter because the actors emote really well. by the end of the film there's so much intensity and electricity between them that it oozes off the screen at you. i totally didn't see where this movie was going either. i mean, i had an idea of how the characters would end up but the film went waaaaay beyond that. it was rad. those of you who can, should totally netflix it.

i like cold pizza

i watched The Lake House and got angry when i realized yes, they did do that, but then went back two days later and finished it to find that they took it all back, thereby creating plot holes the size of the planet Mercury.

it made me cry. 'course that's not hard. it's a cute movie. keanu's voice overs are absolutely horrible but his acting is very nice. there is a point when he actually gets emotional and it was totally realistic and believable. i almost shat myself.

sandra bullock, of course, is adorable and fantastic. though, i want to punch her every time she puts on a huge cardigan and walks around looking adorable and fantastic. (she does it in every single movie she's in. every. single. one. even Demolition Man.)

christopher plummer is a believable bastard.

that guy playing keanu's little brother wants to be james spader SO bad. can't blame him for that. Spader is the man.

that hoary cripple, with malicious eye

i'm down to actively reading one book. finished harry potter. finished everything's eventual. finished bag of bones. still reading fragile things. trying to read fools but for some reason i just can't get into it. i think maybe i don't like getting 100 pages into a book and still not be able to understand what the hell is going on. the writing's good, the characters are good. i just don't like that perpetual state of, "...what?" that i have when i'm reading it.

i think after fragile things i'll go back and read the first 6 hp's or splurge and get another gaiman book. hm. i also have two or three SK novels i've either not read or haven't finished that i could grab up.

this is all very boring.

pour cacher

these

are

funny.

and so is this.

and this is cute.

and this kid should grow up to be a super villian. he's got the laugh down pat.

sux how i think up these really great journal titles but when i come here they all vacate my brains

yesterday was the last day without my sister and her family in the house so i had the whole evening to myself. i was all about doing all this laundry and moving rooms around and dishes and shit. you know what i did? i ate and watched 3 movies and read more HP. nothing got done. i fibbed to my mom about the phone running out of battery so i wouldn't have to spend the entire night listening to her whine about my brother. and then i watched Howl's Moving Castle cuz i heart that movie. and then i watched Match Point cuz i heart Scarlett Johansson. and then i watched Snakes On A Plane. 

eh? what? oh. you noticed the lack of heart there. that's because i would have probably gone postal if i'd wasted any amount of money to see that rank ass flick. i'm lucky in that i have friends with really horrible taste and nothing worthwhile to spend their money on. they let me borrow it. to thank them for sharing the horror that is this film and it's putrid acting, i'd like to slip a scorpion into the box when i give it back because you can't tell me they didn't know how bad this movie was when they handed it to me. sonsabichess. and, who the FUCK are those little twats singing the Snakes On A Plane Uberghey Theme Song? who. are. they. i want them dead. William Wallace style. i had hoped that this film followed the soundtrack rule: sucky song = good movie. if it had, the academy would have rolled over and died at how motherfucking wonderful this film was. i think the film industry has caught on and done a switcheroo on us all. 

film exec: because this movie eats rusty dick, let's go a step further, shall we? let's be innovative. let's make the whole entire film suck like Ron Jeremy on a titty! we'll gather together a handful of wanna be rockers and make them sing this! whaddya say?

producers: excellent! i'm riiiich, biiiiitch!

one smart intern: can't we just have them ghost ride the whip? it would suck so much less.

this band. these people. what the hell were they thinking? cobra starship? no. that white girl looks like she's probably pushing 40. when she sings i get the impression she's about 4 seconds away from breaking down into a slobbery, mascara-running crying fit. i love when she bends over and tries to do a sexy hip swing and her pelvis catches. it looks like it hurt. she deserves it. 

the lead singer schmooze reminds me of Pink from The Wall. that's not a good thing, either. why is this guy wearing a trendy scarf AND a dirty grey sweat shirt circa 1982? i don't even have anything witty to say about this guy. take a shower. you can't sing. shut your mouth.

sadly, the femme guy can sing but he's so ridiculously cheesy that watching him do it is kinda painful. the more i look at this video the more i wonder if that IS a guy...

i dreamed that i punched the zitted black guy in the throat last night. why is he there? oh yes. because it wouldn't suck nearly as much without him.

shame on you, Sam L., for even pretending you wanted to be in this hershey squirt of a video.

now, i do realize that these are people from semi-well known bands. it just so happens that i hate all of those bands. so fuck. them. and fuck. their. song. and fuck. that. movie.

it probably wouldn't have been so bad if i hadn't watched it right after Match Point. good movies make the crap ones ...more ...crappier. i was surpised by Match Point because it's a Woody Allen flick. he's not my favorite director. in fact, on a list of 100 directors Woody Allen would be #48,584,378,373. i dislike him and his "icky old man gets to shag a beautiful but obscenely young girl" type of movies. this is not one of those movies. this flick is about luck. it has depth and it's beautifully shot and wonderfully directed and expertly written. i think Allen's taking notes from Sophia Coppola. it has a very Lost in Translation feel to it. that's good. that's real good. i give a lengthy applause to the dirty pervert.

that's all the ranting i have time for right now. hold your breath til i come back. cuz i will. with something equally as lame.

"humor is almost always anger with it's make up on"

i should be doing something other than what i'm doing, which is a bunch of nothing. once again i woke up on time and said fuck all and went back to sleep for another hour thus making myself about 15 minutes late for work. ask me if i care. please. ask me. the only thing i come here for is to get paid and tell my staff to do the shit i don't wanna. this is a stupid waste of time job in a boring ass field and never in a million prillion years did i think i'd find myself shirking duties to people under me. middle management is Teh Debil.

there's this one attorney here. i want to sharpen something with his eyeball. i have hypoglycemia, fucktard. i get cold. if you make fun of my heater again i'm going to introduce it to your sphincter.

i'm supposed to go to Access database training today from 1-2:30 but i think imma skip it because i'd rather read SK's Bag of Bones. btw, the UK version of Deathly Hallows is full of typos and suckishness. not UK typos like 'colour' or 'behaviour' or 'travelling' because those aren't typos, damn it, but things like, "The hallway was large, dimly light," and "they were drawn upward to the strangest feature of the scenes an apparently unconscious human figure hanging upside down over the table,". fuck harry potter. i'm all about stephen king. fuck harry potter until thursday. when i have the US edition, that is. 

we watched Arthur and the Invisibles yesterday with the kids and it actually was kind of a cool movie. i really love Freddy Highmore anyways, since the James And The Giant Peach days, ... wait wait. no, that was paul terry. nevermind. maybe i'm thinking of Finding Neverland? he was in that, right? shit. IT DOESN'T MATTER. i like his messed up teeth and he has just about the greatest british accent since Christian Bale fauxed one for Empire of the Sun (ilovethatmoviewithmouth). 

ANYWAY. it was good. mia farrow's in it and like always, she reminds you why she is the most lovable of lovables and that Woody Allen is a pedocretin. how she does this by just saying her lines is beyond me; it surpassed modern understanding. just accept it.

the Minimoys are voiced by an all star cast: Robert DeNiro, Harvey Keitel, Jimmy Fallon, Chaz Palminteri, Emilio Estevez and *dun dun dunnnnnnnn* Madonna, whose presence, i figured, would have shit-caked the whole thing and outright doomed this movie to the Film Graveyard. but she's good in it. yeah, i said it. she's good. maybe that skanktress should stick to the voice acting rather than showcasing her less than stellar, quite-possibly-more-wooden-than-Ben-Affleck talents on the screen. everybody wins.

then we started to watch Alice in Wonderland but i was more than slightly offended by the stereotypical irish gardeners. who'da thunk an irishman could do a horrible impersonation of an irish accent? not me, that's who. what's worse is that the one guy who did an okay job of it, was italian. but damn if tina marjorino didn't grow up nice.

that's all the bitchery i can spew for now. i'm going to go smoke until my head explodes.

self inflicted his perdition

so. Mimzy. mimzy mimzy mimzy.

i can't say that it was a bad movie because it wasn't. the things that happen in the movie are very cool. the graphics are cool. the story itself is cool albeit a little preachy. it has a high creep out factor for a movie that was marketed toward kids. in fact, at the end of the movie Lexi threw herself on my lap and started to cry that she missed grammie. the little girl in it is just a smidge too cutesy. the little boy needs a spanking. the parents were realistic. the government was not. the teacher and his fiancee were a nice touch but some explanation of their part was needed. the rabbit and the toys were rad.

it felt like a kid version of Donnie Darko. you know how Darko is disturbing but beautiful? it's like that only, it's like the director didn't want the whole movie to feel like that so he infused it with cutesy kid-talk and close ups of that little girl's cupid bow mouth.

and it drags. this flick has the pace of cold molasses down a slight hill. you feel every damn minute of it. but like i said, it wasn't bad. i didn't like it as much as i wanted to (and i really, really wanted to) but i probably wouldn't have paid money to own it. it's a good cable flick for a rainy weekend or a one you DVR from a movie channel to let the kids watch while you fold laundry or something. 

on a side note; neil gaiman's Stardust will be coming out this year and the cast of that flick is suprahella impressive. i'm talking deNiro, clare danes, ian mckellan, michelle pfeiffer, rupert everett, sienna miller, peter o'toole, ricky gervais, mark williams (he plays arthur weasley in the HP movies). 

damn. i was trying to read up on stardust but i got sidetracked by zac efron because his face has been bugging me for weeks. i've been walking around mumbling, "where do i know that kid from, goddamn it!" (he played young Simon on Firefly), "why do you haunt me, you little disney-whoring shit!" i finally figured out that his face reminds me of Caleb (who is not, incidentally, a disney-whoring shit).

assonance, alliteration, onomatopoeia

what's that title have to do with this entry?  nothing.  in fact, 99% of my titles have absolutely nothing to do with the entry they're attached to; i just like they way they sound. lil tidbit of somewhat delusive information for you folks.

i woke up this morning with david bowie's Fame playing in my head and quotes from the movie Erin Brockovich falling out of my mouth. i don't know.

msn.weather.com said that it was going to be 82 degrees today and partly sunny. then it went on to say that the rest of the week would be in the mid-to-upper 70s. well. maybe this is 82 degrees --ON MARS. wtf. it's actually 96 and tomorrow is due to be 99. i want the crack that website is smoking. srsly.

i watched a plethora of films this weekend with a paucity of suckage. Thank You for Smoking is fantastic. whether you like smoking or not, you should see that movie just because Aaron Eckhardt uses his mouth prettier than a $50 whore. it's a clever movie. I also watched The Caveman's Valentine with Sam L., directed by one of my faves Kasi Lemmons. it had a creepy se7en feel to it. Sam L. acted his ass off. and i re-watched Taxi Driver because it's classic. i also crammed like 34294872 Discovery shows about egypt into my head for obvious reasons. tonight we'll be watching The Last Mimzy. lexi got it for her birthday from aaron's parents and i've been dying to see it for the last.... um. well since here. 

because i am obsessive, yessiree

here's the transformation sound: http://www.divshare.com/download/4123935-281

that's the original one. if i can find (unfortunately i already know that i will try) the one they use in the movie, i'll edit this and post it here.

here it is: http://www.divshare.com/download/4123966-11f

not that i think you guys will like cream yourselves listening to this shit. i'm just obsessive like that.

i am the biggest dork.